The other day I heard someone talking about fear being an illusion.
That we make it all up…
Maybe you’ve also heard about fear standing for: False Evidence Appearing Real.
And yes, a lot of times we create and amplify fear for nothing.
By going through all kinds of scenarios, running millions and trillions of possible outcomes in our head over and over again. And of course, we’re imagining the worst that could happen.
All that overthinking, our mind making up super creative scenarios about the future, sometimes more creative and scary then all of the Alien movies together.
When we do this, our monkey mind is showing off what it’s capable of. It’s like a playground for our mind, where it’s having fun making up all these fake and fantasy scenarios, being creative and reminding us how powerful it can be.
And when we try to stop it? It sometimes feels like a child who doesn’t want to go home after an amazing afternoon at the playground: it’s stubborn, running wild and simply doesn’t want to do what we ask it to.
Imagination that feels more than real
And even though these scenarios are not real… they feel oh so real. Make us feel even more fearful.
Rationally, we know that we do this, that it’s our monkey mind doing it’s monkey play thing, that these are “just thoughts”.
But simply knowing this doesn’t help us when we’re caught in fear.
When we feel it all over our body and can’t think clearly anymore. It’s hard to think on our own feet when there is this rush of energy and emotions through our body, which is taking us with it way too often…
At that moment thinking about all of it being an illusion?
Well, thank you for the advice.
I don’t know about you, but hearing, or even just thinking of this “advice” makes me feel guilty, sometimes even incompetent.
Wholesome fear*
The idea that fear is an illusion also doesn’t leave room for the fact that there is wholesome fear. That kind of fear that keeps us safe and on the right track.
Let’s say the fear of getting ill makes us eat healthy. That is if we don’t drown in that fear but can take its essence. Which is that it wants to protect us.
And that leaves us with the real question:
How can we feel safe enough in our body to look at the fear?
When we feel safe in our body, we have the capacity to step back and to do exactly that: hold our fear, let the rush of energy pass through and see its essence.
What’s the message?
Do I wanna take it serious or not?
Is there actually something I need to do right now?
Not all fear is “false evidence”.
Some is fantasy and imagination.
Some is really helpful, our own wisdom speaking to us. And we can’t hear this if we judge all fear as illusionary.
So maybe the real question isn’t how to eliminate fear or how to “finally being able to see it as false”.
But how to listen to the voice behind it.
*I was introduced to the term “wholesome fear” by one of my Buddhist teachers, Lama Zopa Rinpoche. He wrote a whole book about it and if you’re curious, go check it out here.
P.S. “True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear; but going beyond fear” Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
P.P.S. In my 1:1 EFT sessions, I support sensitive, thoughtful people navigating transitions that might feel scary, whether visible on the outside or quietly unfolding within. You’re welcome to explore working together here.
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