When every sensation feels like a question
I was sitting in the dentist’s waiting room. Replaying my “tooth story” that started a few years ago. I was thinking about what had gone wrong, how I ended up here (again…) and mentally checking if I had done all the right things. And, most importantly, I was briefing myself with all the questions I wanted to ask my dentist, so that I wouldn`t forget anything.
It was just me and one other woman in the waiting room until the door opened. A third woman walked in. As she was sitting down, she let out a long, heavy sigh.
I felt that sigh too. When our eyes met, she didn’t hold back: ‘I couldn’t sleep all night,’ she said. ‘I am so nervous.’
‘Me too,’ I said.
‘Me too,’ added the woman sitting across from me.
I felt both seen and oh so much compassion for my two companions in dental suffering.
She continued sharing a bit of her dental story: it was her eighth time or so that she came to see the doctor for just that one tooth and she was hoping to finally find relief.
Not only from the pain and discomfort, the multi-dimensional sensory overload that often comes with a dental visit, but also from the mental and emotional load. The sleepless nights, the worrying thoughts days before the appointment, that often stick after the visit like a well handled boomerang.
For a moment, the three of us in the waiting room became sisters in suffering. We bonded over our annoying tooth stories.
We continued chatting a bit and I understood why people sometimes have the tendency to talk about diseases – it does help to phrase it, say it out loud and have someone at your side who understands. Who is going through something very similar. Even if it’s a complete stranger in the dental waiting room.
It made me wonder: Do dentists, doctors in general, know what is happening inside their patients?
I mean, emotionally. Are they aware of the impact they may be having on their patients’ whole system, not just on their teeth?
On a surface level they are just treating a tooth but the ripple effect that touches a patient’s sleep, their work, and their sense of safety for weeks (or even longer) can be immense.
And so here’s something to remember: if you have been caught in worry loops, anxiety, about your health, rehearsing different scenarios, scanning for symptoms and potential loop holes. you are not alone with this (and you are definitely not broken).
I know it doesn’t necessarily make it better, but maybe it will, and I really hope it does help you feel less alone with this.
Acknowledging the Multi-Dimensional Experience
When we think about health anxiety it may feel like it’s a thing we have.
It almost sounds like another illness that we may have on top of the other (imagined or real) illnesses. But I’d say health anxiety is an experience, a way how our whole system responds to something real or imagined.
And above all, it is a very unique and complex experience, showing up in many different ways and intensity.
The following aspects are some of the most common ones that I have observed. It may be your experience too, it may as well not be because for you it shows up in another way or not at all.
My intention here is to normalise talking about this topic which I believe is the first step in finding relief and developing a sense of compassion and caring for ourselves.
The addictive scan
Our body is constantly changing and is naturally “noisy”.
There’s a million sensations all the time. Some of them are comfortable, others may be uncomfortable. Buzzing, tingling, pressure… a plethora of aliveness and physical experiences every day. Every millisecond.
And sometimes, for whatever reason, our brain attaches to one of these sensations. It might be a new sensation that we can’t quite name (hello, aging..)
Maybe we can’t remember if it’s new. Or maybe we just heard a story where someone had that sensation and it turned out to be a mysterious illness.
We have a cold and wonder if this feels like a normal cold…or might it be something else? Isn`t it strange to have the third cold in just three months?
From there it’s so easy to get “addicted” to scanning for symptoms.
And of course, we are just trying to make sense of our experience.Trying to deal with the uncertainty and fragility of our body.
We are trying to keep ourselves safe and healthy.
It’s not that you are “obsessed” (even though it may feel like it), but your nervous system is stuck in hyper-vigilance. In a state where danger is the norm, not safety.
Dr. Google and Chatty
With the intention in mind to find safety and peace of mind, some kind of certainty and assurance, we turn to the doctors that are always there for us. 24/7.
Dr. Google and Chatty.
Aaaah, what a relief. The confirmation that the very symptom we are googling is just a minor thing. Something completely normal.
But then… there is that piece of information that says it in very rare cases… it could be something else… and more google searches follow.
What happens here is that our brain wants to do its job, which is keeping us safe.
So it doesn’t only look for the 99% of “normal” results; it also scans for the 1% of worst-case scenarios and is happy to amplify these scenarios. And off we fall into the abyss of Internet research.
The brain is trying to solve a physical fear with a search engine. With logic. But logic is far gone when our nervous system is still in fear and stress mode, secretly telling the brain we are in danger and it should try to do its job better.
And so it does, which in return puts the nervous system under more stress which in return… well, you know the loop.
The appointment dread
The days, weeks, hours before an appointment can be all consuming. What will the doctor find? Will it all go well? Hopefully I’ll ask the right questions…No wonder a simple doctor appointment can feel like a walk through Modor. Barefoot.
We “armor” and prepare ourselves for what might happen. Replaying past traumas and experiences or future possibilities, effectively suffering through the appointment a hundred times before it even begins.
Your body is preparing for a “fight” that hasn’t happened yet.
The result limbo
Even after a “good” result, the relief is sometimes short-lived. What if they missed anything? What if I didn’t mention everything? Did I ask all the right questions?
What if… and from there, we may fall back into consulting with Dr. Google, to make sure the real doctor was right or proving that they missed something.
Again, our brain wants to keep us safe. When the body still feels stressed and in danger, that’s what the brain perceives and so it keeps trying to protect and maybe fall back to research mode.
Your system has forgotten how to down-regulate.
How to cultivate relief: a somatic path forward
So health anxiety isn’t a logical problem. If health anxiety were a logical problem, a “normal” test result would cure it. Or even Dr. Google because we knew how unlikely it is to have that thing our brain is currently focusing on.
That said, don’t ever switch off your logic! That’s not what I meant. It’s essential to be prepared and know your things.
But we are not just our mind, our brain. We are also our body. And so when our body is stuck in fear mode, in survival mode, the brain can’t do its job properly. So the solution has to start with the body, with the nervous system.
Feeling safe in the body
It’s not about trying to not see the symptoms, about neglecting what’s there or simply “think positive” .
It’s more about helping your body feel safe. When the body feels safe, that message is transmitted to the brain. The brain can then stop scanning for ghosts. It doesn’t stop protecting you, that’s its job after all, but it becomes less attached to the worst-case scenario. The unlikely ones. The scary ones. You move from catastrophizing to evaluating and being present in the moment with what’s actually there.
In that state, it’s easier to focus on opportunities, on solutions. On deciding what’s a real danger and what might be rather unlikely to happen. It also becomes easier to talk to the doctors, be present during the visit. To manage and move through diagnosis and treatments.
Our brain becomes sharper. More open to new thoughts and ideas instead of being stuck in thinking the same thoughts over again. It becomes easier to remember what was said during an appointment and show up for yourself the way you need to.
So how do we do that? Well, it all starts with the body. And there’s a number of tools that can be helpful and I’m just gonna share a few that I am using (for myself and working with clients).
Functional breathing (Oxygen Advantage)
Most of us breathe too much (yes, read that again). We are not aware of it but our breathing pattern has an enormous influence on our nervous system and the brain. When we over breathe, which commonly leads to unnoticed hyperventilation, we may be signalling to our brain that we are in danger. Without even noticing it
And well, you know your brain, it wants to keep you safe, right?
So breathing can make an enormous difference.
And I’m gonna link you a few exercises here. Basically it’s about breathing more light, slow and deep (deep meaning using the diaphragm)
Why is that important?
It brings resilience, clarity and helps us make better decisions, sharpness of mind and energy, and good sleep.
I am currently training to become an Advanced Instructor in the Oxygen Advantage breathing method. I wholeheartedly recommend their work and if you would like to learn more check it out here: Foundations of functional breathing.
(Please note: This is an affiliate link, which means I may receive a small commission and you receive a 5% discount on their products through the link.)
EFT Tapping for health anxiety
Tapping won’t necessarily turn a dental visit into a day at the spa, and it also can’t make the dental issue disappear, but it can help reducing the emotional charge and intensity of your experience. The charge that we may have with certain aspects of the visit, such as the smell or the noise.
By tapping on specific points on the upper body and face, we send a physical signal to the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for the fight-or-flight response, telling it that you are safe in this moment.
It is support for the nervous system and allows body and mind to work as a team. For you. And helping you move through all of that with more clarity, resilience and more inner steadiness.
If you would like to get a hands-on experience, please check out one of my EFT Tapping meditations on Insight Timer such as Health Anxiety Support With EFT Tapping or EFT Tapping To Let Go Of Emotional Overwhelm.
If you`re curious about working 1:1 with me check out here how I can support you further.