Thanks, Intuition!
I didn’t know what I wanted—I just knew something had to change. And one day, my intuition made the decision for me.
Here’s the story of the surprising and liberating moment that set me on a whole new path, and what I’ve learned since about clarity, discomfort, and the courage to trust yourself.
Nine years ago, I had a draft email sitting in my outbox for weeks. Then one day—click—my finger moved before my mind could stop it. I had officially quit my job… without a plan. What followed was a wild, beautiful, and sometimes terrifying ride into the unknown. Sometimes, clarity doesn’t come with a plan. It comes with a moment—messy, mysterious, and wildly inconvenient.
The Moment My Intuition Took Over
Around this time nine (OMG 😅) years ago, my intuition kicked me in the 🍑 and catapulted me into the unknown. She clearly had enough of me thinking she didn´t even exist – and taught me otherwise.
I had prepared an email to hand in my job notification. It was sitting in my drafts folder for a few weeks until the deadline came when I had to send it (or not). I opened the email and as usual I told myself “Let me think it through once mo… “ Click. Done. Sent. Suddenly my finger had moved, hit the mouse button, without me consciously being aware.
For a long time, I was yearning for a change of direction in my life, professionally but also in general. Something was off, even though from the outside everything looked perfect. But I didn´t know how to figure out what I really really really wanted. I tried many things to gain clarity, one of them being sending out countless job applications. The more it didn’t work, the more frustrated I got.
📚 I was working my way through countless self-help books, one of them being “ I could do anything if I only knew what I wanted” which I thought summed up my life pretty well at that time.
All of this left me just more confused and feeling stuck. I understand now that sometimes you just gotta take action and the next step, something different than you´re used to, and then clarity comes. It´s not something that you gain through thinking it through or analysing, it’s a creative process and there is no final goal.
Not that kind of person – Am I?
So I ended up in India and Nepal for months (so much longer than I had originally allowed myself!), having all these experiences that felt magical to me—experiences I could never have imagined, simply because I didn’t know they existed, or that they could be possible for someone like me.
Never would I have imagined I’d actually meet the Dalai Lama in person, or find myself sitting in a three-month meditation retreat, or walking through the Himalayas with a group of Thai monks and nuns. These were the kinds of stories I used to hear — stories about people who seemed to have it all figured out, who knew exactly what they wanted and made it happen. The stories that inspired me and left me wondering: How do these people do it? They must be daring and courageous. But me? Far from it. And yet, here I was, in the midst of these experiences, But me? Far from it. And yet, here I was, in the midst of these experiences. And I thought: Maybe I’ve done something right after all.
During all that time, I got closer to figuring out who I am (an ongoing journey!) and what I want to bring into this world — what makes me feel alive and purposeful.
Discomfort: A Choice, Not a Curse
That doesn’t mean everything is easy or always flowing. Life brings challenges and discomfort – all the time. But for me, it’s a question of which discomfort I prefer: the one that comes with being me or the one that comes with living a life that’s not truly mine.
📸 Obviously, the pics I´m sharing represent some of my favorite highlights. No photo can express when you´re struggling with self-doubt, uncertainty, existential fear and more… this doesn´t magically disappear just because you change the country. 🙏🏼
Lot´s of love,
Sina